


Respect

by Live_Long_and_PawsPurr



Category: Founder of Diabolism, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feels, Loving Husbands, M/M, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, respect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 23:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18200564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Live_Long_and_PawsPurr/pseuds/Live_Long_and_PawsPurr
Summary: Despite all the love surrounding Wei Wuxian, as the darkness of sleep crept over him so too did the lingering insecurities built up over a life time of feeling like he is not wanted. He tried to shake them off or at least mask them with Lan Zhan. With everyone else, he could just smile and shove those feelings down behind a flood of teasing and his overwhelming desire to save everyone else before himself. But this was much harder with his husband, especially when those insecurities decided that tonight they would latch on to their relationship.Wei Wuxian struggles with his self-worth and doesn't believe that he is worthy of his husband's respect. Lan Wangji does not see it that way





	Respect

Wei Ying fell back onto their bed with a satisfied thud and Lan Zhan soon followed, wrapping his arms around Wei Yings frame and pulling him in close to his chest gleaming with sweat. Wei Ying made a small noise as he nuzzled into his husband’s collar bone. He didn’t have to see Lan Zhan’s face to know he was looking at him like he was the only thing in the world worth looking at.

 

Despite all the love surrounding him, as the darkness of sleep crept over him so too did the lingering insecurities built up over a life time of feeling like he is not wanted. He tried to shake them off or at least mask them with Lan Zhan. With everyone else, he could just smile and shove those feelings down behind a flood of teasing and his overwhelming desire to save everyone else before himself. But this was much harder with his husband, especially when those insecurities decided that tonight they would latch on to their relationship.

 

Wei Ying breathed deeply. Once. Twice. Three times to try and dispel the feelings that were now crushing his chest and making it difficult to breathe. Yes, Lan Zhan loved him, that much was obvious, but did he really respect him? He had done so many horrible things in the past and Lan Zhan had always been the picture of morality- when weighed against each other on a scale, Wei Ying definitely did not deserve his husband’s respect, so why would he expect it? It was terribly selfish to think that the honorable Hanguang-Jun would respect a degenerate like him- he was lucky to have his love, it was greedy for him to want this as well.

 

Even though he did not deserve it, he still wanted to know. Still had a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe he had his husband’s respect. But it might kill him to know the truth that he already felt, so it was better to hold onto that glimmer.

 

Wei Ying felt arms wrap tighter around him and soft murmur against the crown of his head, “Wei Ying, what is the matter?”

 

He had been caught. But he could fix this. He gave a breathy, nonchalant laugh, “nothing, Lan Zhan! I’m just tired, let’s go to sleep.”

 

Immediately he was pried away from the heat of his husband’s chest and Lan Zhan tilted his chin so he was staring into worried, amber eyes. “Wei Ying.”

 

That look was enough to break him. He didn’t want to know the truth, but lying to save himself was beyond his abilities when his husband was looking at him like that. He turned his gaze down, unable to look at his husband as he laid himself bare before him. He couldn’t just come out and say, ‘do you respect me?’ it would be too easy to lie, or rather for Lan Zhan to unknowingly lie and say ‘yes.’ He was too kind and wonderful to realize that his husband did not deserve his respect, let alone realize that he did not in fact respect him. So instead Wei Ying asked, “Lan Zhan, I know that y-you said ‘every day is everyday’, but if I … if I ever really didn’t want to… you wouldn’t force me..” his voice shrank even smaller as he turned his eyes slightly up to meet his husband’s, wetness threatening to weigh them down, “would you?”

 

Lan Zhan looked like Wei Ying had just gently reaching into his chest and slowly ripped his heart in two. He gingerly cupped Wei Ying’s face with both of his hands, looking into his eyes as if what he was about to say was the most vital thing for him to understand. “For me, Wei Ying is the most important thing in the world.” He brushed a thumb across Wei Ying’s cheek, “your happiness is most precious to me and I would fall on my sword if my actions led to you being unhappy.” He removed one of his hands to smooth the bangs back from Wei Ying’s face, his eyes softening but still retaining their firm earnestness, “I love and respect you too much to feel any other way.”

 

Wei Ying’s eyes widened and all he could do was stare into the depths of his husband’s eyes. The monster of self-worthlessness threatened to claw its way to Wei Ying’s mind, remind him that Lan Zhan did not mean these words, who could ever mean them for someone like him? But for now, there was no room in his head for anything except “I love and respect you,” which echoed in his mind, gaining in intensity with every passing moment.

 

There were so many emotions fighting for dominance in Wei Ying’s heart, he couldn’t place a name on any of them except one: love. “I love you Lan Zhan.”

 

Lan Zhan pulled him into his chest, the smell of sandalwood smoothing Wei Ying’s fragile soul, and breathed, “I love you Wei Ying,” as if they were the only words he needed to utter for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Side note: Consent is sexy and a one-time blanket consent is not consent. LWJ and WWX respect each other, so if one isn't in the mood then that's that. Everyday is not necessarily every day. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.


End file.
